Metamorphosing, again.
Last week I handed in my resignation letter at work; I was becoming absolutely miserable there. The only reason I took the position several years ago was due in part that I’d just broken up with Brad (1st time), bank account near zero and I needed to keep my sanity by remaining busy. Escorting was not something I considered as I wanted to just sort out my life. Getting a normal job would help with the sorting.
Now I no longer see myself there as a positive step for me. I’ve harbored these feelings for a bit over 18 months and certain events have made it clear to me that it’s time for a change. I have no clear cut plan as to what I want to do next, but I have the confidence that all will be alright. I feel it in my stomach.
My escorting side is fine. Most of my meetings have happily been dinner dates but disappointingly there has not been much sex. Disappointing in the sense that I do not have sex outside of escorting- so- I look very much forward to having sex with my dates.
Bradley some how found out that I was back escorting. We were begining to become cordial with one another but then he either read this blog or saw my advert. I received a nasty email filled with whore and bitch and how he dislikes me as a humanbeing and how I was less then a mosquito. I had to laugh but then I was sad for him. At this point I feel sorry and sad for him for continuing to harbor such anger towards me. An anger that can manifest to something destructive. I sensed it. It was time for me to close that chapter of my life. Brad now seemed dangerous to me.
I will always love him though. I’m sure that I will continue to have day dreams of us being together but I also have day dreams of flying – never going to happen.
